parenting peacefully since 2006

21 Jan, 2010

“you need to talk to him about it”

Posted by: blissfule In: Perth ()

 
For some reason, when our scooter is upside down, it's a sailboat.
 
When Skipper Nikki decided that her passenger was creating too much drag to get where she wanted to go, she wasn't happy. She whined. She made angry sounds. And then she complained to me.
 
I told her that she needed to talk to Michael about it.
 
She asked Michael to "get off, please" and he complied immediately. (If he hadn't, I would have counseled Nikki to wait or think of something else to do.)
 
This approach of encouraging my children to resolve their disputes prevents me from having to take sides. All I have to do is to encourage, and when necessary enforce, politeness.
 
It is never too early to learn to articulate our desires in a positive manner, and to be assertive, rather than aggressive or passive.
 
If you haven't tried this parenting shortcut already, I highly recommend turning the tables when you're asked to intervene.
 
How do you deal with sibling/friend squabbles?
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3 Responses to "“you need to talk to him about it”"

1 | maryanne

January 21st, 2010 at 21:55

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My mom used this technique all the time when I was growing up. Thanks for reminding me that I need to use it more often!

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2 | Jen

January 22nd, 2010 at 01:53

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Great work, Elisa! Sounds like it is really paying off!
Jen´s last blog ..My Sweet Girl And A Ball Of Yarn My ComLuv Profile

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3 | Betsy

January 24th, 2010 at 08:38

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I do that a lot too. If there is someone being hurt, on the other hand, I will talk to the one who has caused the pain, and they will be taken away from the situation for a while, and sometimes corporal punishment will also be instituted.
But, yes, it’s actually impossible and counter-productive to get in the middle of every argument. Learning to deal with conflict and selfishness and love are more things that we as parents must teach our children. They’ll learn somehow.

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  • MuM: We share your joy in celebrating your life, Nikki. With our love and congratulations. Grandma and Grandpa
  • Poppa & Grammie: Happy, happy birthday dear Nikki! We love you so much!
  • Jen: Happy Birthday, Nikki! Looks like your day was wonderful!

about

Blissful E is about parenting peacefully, sustainably, joyfully, and with a view toward maximizing long-term benefits for the entire family.
 
I believe that the more wisely we invest in the early years of our children's lives, the greater the benefits for us and them as they grow.
 
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