But on Monday Lex didn’t race past me to get to his food, and on Tuesday and Wednesday, although he drank quite a lot, he didn’t eat except what Ben force fed him. By the time we took him to the vet this morning, he was quite poorly. We left him at the hospital to be drip fed and medicated for diabetes. When the blood tests came back, it was clear that his organs were already shutting down. So we authorised the vet to put Lex to sleep, but not before we bid him a fond farewell.

With heavy hearts we said, ‘Goodbye, Lex.”

Ben’s birthday began with crumpets and jam.

This was a very eventful long weekend for us! I had my first-ever false labour, which was uncomfortable but helped in several ways. First of all, Ben got the birth pool pumped up. He’s a pro at this, having set up three different brands of portable pools in four different houses. After the contractions died down, I was able to focus on what we still need to organise for the upcoming home birth. Mostly I need to finish and wrap the gifts for the kids and mix up an energy drink for me to sip during labour.

Also, as part of prepping the house for the birth Ben removed the last bit of Lex’s litter tray from the toilet, and Lex has been using the toilet without the tray for a few days now. If he continues as well as he has begun, Ben and I will be very glad to call his training complete and our house a litter-free zone.

In addition to all this, Ben did quite a bit of bunk-bed painting over the weekend. He also took Nikki busking one final time before her license expired. I cleaned the house, something I had been hoping to do before the new baby arrives, and we celebrated Ben’s birthday Monday evening, sharing fajitas and apple crisp with our friends Carrie and Michael.

In another answer to prayer, Carrie has agreed to be on call for the birth! She will come here to take care of the bigger kids while Ben and I are busy with labour and the new baby. She did a marvellous job last time and we are delighted that Carrie is happy to come back at some unearthly hour of the morning to help us once again.

image source

A friend gave me a set of Dr Neil T Anderson’s talks. While listening the other day I gained a fascinating insight about the relationship between goals and anger.

• If I don’t think I’ll be able to meet my goal, I get depressed.
• If I am not sure if I’ll meet my goal, I get anxious.
• If someone blocks me from achieving my goal, I get angry.

The moral here is to avoid setting goals that depend on other people. If my goal is to get us all out the door and in the car by 8am or to enjoy peaceful, relaxed dinner conversation, then I have four other people in my family that can block that goal. If someone disrupts dinner or takes a long time getting ready, my natural reaction would be to get angry.

Instead I can choose a goal to be the best wife and mother I can be. Only I can block that goal.

At the same time, it’s perfectly reasonable to have desires for prompt departures and peaceful dinners. These things are more likely to happen if I am focusing on what I can control, my own actions and reactions. When things happen that are outside of my control, I am more likely to accept them gracefully and see them for what they are – circumstances beyond my control – rather than a personal attack on me.

Now, when I notice I’m getting angry, I ask myself “what goal is being blocked?”

This introspection has resulted in me downgrading my expectation of Lex to be fully toilet-trained and litter-free by the time our next child is born. We’ve been toilet training him on and off since we moved into this house. He does well up to a point, but when we reduce the amount of litter tray in the toilet beyond a certain level, he starts using the bathtub instead.

we’ll be able to use the new toilet in 24 hours

So, we’re taking another break from toilet training our cat while we have our increasingly leaky outdoor toilet replaced. Lex is absolutely delighted to have his litter box back (I found him in there about 17 times the first day), while I am less than thrilled to have litter tracked all over the house again. However, I’m resetting my expectations and downgrading my goal of toilet-training to a desire. Now I’m not angry, merely exploring training options.

Vi happily chatted to her walking companion as they traversed the living room.

Wake time, meal time, bath time, and bed time are conducted with unison, harmony, and the minimum of fuss.

The hidden underbelly of such synchronisation, the simultaneous and urgent need to use the toilet, is rarely discussed. So I have coined my own term: simul-poo.

I’m trusting it will all work out when Lex is using the flush toilet as well.

Vi demonstrates our latest piece of safety equipment

After three-and-a-half years of gate-free parenting, it was the confluence of Lex getting his litter box back and Vi’s increased mobility that forced our hand.

We bought a baby gate to let Nikki, Michael (with Nikki’s help), and Lex have access to toileting facilities while keeping Vi safely out of the fray.

Once the warmer weather returns, we’ll take what we’ve learned about cat toilet training and restart with Lex. We hope to have him using the flush toilet full time before next winter.