When people come up to me with compliments on how well my kids behave, I am quick to defer the credit to God and the beautiful calm children He has entrusted to me.

Every morning, every evening, and all weekend long, I am assisted by the other key ingredient in this raising-children soup: their terrific father. Our children have the blessing of being closely bonded to both of their parents. As I type this, Ben has taken all four children out for a couple hours to give me child-free break. That’s what I call bravery.

Instead of many other things he could be doing – such as longer hours at work, or entertainment in the form of video games, television or movie-watching – Ben reads the Bible, prays, works on our house, and assists any child who cries in the night. He also prepares most of our meals. That’s what I call sacrifice.

In addition to all this, Ben invests in relationships with other men he admires – he is both mentored and mentors others. He has men speak into his life when he either finds things too difficult or doesn’t know what to do. At the same time, he is not blindly led, but rather he tests and weighs what he is told against what he hears through prayer and searching the Scriptures. That’s what I call wisdom.

Mothers and children in many different circumstances do not have the advantages I do in a loving, committed, brave, sacrificial, and wise husband. If it looks like I’m doing amazing things on my own, please know I am not. Both God and Ben have my back.

A dear friend at church teased me the other day. “You would make great Catholics!” She was, of course, referring to our four children aged five and under. I responded with a question that has been on my mind, “Why don’t Protestants have more kids?” Her instant answer: “We’re too selfish.”

I didn’t even want kids for years. God changed my heart by showing me that no matter how much money I make or how crucial my corporate triumphs seem to me, the only work where I am truly irreplaceable is the work God gives me. After I realised that truth, God gave me the desire to become a mother.

Of course I’m still selfish. But taking care of kids is changing me, for the better. As the old ugly layers of me-first fall gradually away, I’m slowly becoming and doing what God intended for me all along.

Tonight we shared our joy with our church family as we dedicated David to the Lord.

Pastor Ronnie spoke about the importance of dedicating our own lives as parents to the Lord so we can set an example for our children.

photos taken by our friend, Peter

After the service, we enjoyed speaking with many people who were excited to greet baby David’s family. It was a blessing to us to share our blessings with them!

As a homeschooling parent, I have the privilege of making many choices about what my kids will learn. In addition to following their interests and making the most of opportunities when something grabs their attention, there is one non-negotiable item on our homeschooling to-do list: Bible study and scripture memorisation. We do it first, before we eat breakfast.

Right now we are examining and memorising the Shorter Catechism at a rate of one question per week. We are also memorising Bible passages between 7-15 verses at a time.

Scripture memorisation is so easy! Each new month we select a passage of the appropriate length. This month it is Psalm 46, the last two months it was the first and second halves of Psalm 2.

Every morning right before we eat breakfast, we read the passage out loud twice. On the 23rd of the month, we ask the kids to say it for us. They then say it every morning until the new month brings a new section to memorise.

Our five-year-old repeats the chapter without prompts the first time. Our 3-year-old usually needs around 3-5 prompts the first time. And our two-year-old is memorising, too! Right now she says only the big words, leaving out conjunctions and prepositions (“Why nations conspire, peoples plot vain?” instead of “Why do the nations conspire and the peoples plot in vain?”). She needs more assistance than her big brother, but she loves to join in and get high fives just like her older siblings.

I am often asked why my children are so well-behaved. There are many factors that go into it, most of which have nothing to do with me. But I do feel that scripture memory has certain benefits for Christians. One benefit is a proper focus: remembering that the universe does not revolve around us, and being reminded of God’s rules that govern all of our actions, parents and children alike.

Another benefit of scripture memory that ties into homeschooling is wisdom. If you believe as I do that God is the creator of all things, then He is also the source of all wisdom. If we let God drop off the priority list while we busily focus on a bunch of other things, the Bible says our thinking will become futile.

On the other hand, seeking God first is rewarded… He gives us the other things we need!

I love how this homeschooling journey is as much about my education as it is about my children’s. Memorising scripture as a family reinforces the fact that we’re all learning together!

see also, how to survive without fiction

I love to read, and with all the breastfeeding I do, I can finish an average-size novel in a day.

When God started prompting me to stop reading so much fiction, I brushed Him off. When the promptings continued, I began to get defensive. How would I ever survive so much breastfeeding without something light to distract my mind?

You see, for my state of mind, breastfeeding a child is roughly equivalent to flying on an airplane. I can easily read fiction on a flight, but there is too much “noise” for me to comfortably concentrate on anything deeper.

God, however, clearly wants me to go deeper. I also acknowledge that a higher standard in my reading choices is necessary now that my 4-year old can pick up pretty much any book around the house and make out the words. (Recently Nikki selected The Worst Case Scenario Survival Handbook as her quiet time reading and emerged explaining to me what I need to do if I give birth in a taxi cab, down to tying off the umbilical cord with a piece of string. She then began asking about hot wiring a car…) A complete fast seemed like the most straightforward solution to dumping the junk, and Lent, with the calendar dates already set, the ideal opportunity.

The first couple weeks of my fast were rough! However, I made it through, and I have reached the other side. Here are my observations:

• I survived without mental distraction from novels.
• Now that I have survived 40 days without novels, it will be easier to be more careful about what I read, focusing on classics and non-fiction rather than recent bestsellers.
• I finished some projects around the house. I also spent a lot more time online.
• I didn’t use much of the extra time for prayer and Bible reading, though I did read one non-fiction Christian book.
• God blessed my meager step in the right direction and spoke to me about being more generous.

It doesn’t matter what the distraction is. I hope I’ll obey more quickly the next time God prompts me to do something.

Michael drums and sings Tim Hughes’ song, “Oh, Happy Day.”

Nikki and Michael enjoyed reenacting the Easter story with a playdough tomb, soldiers, disciples, Mary Magdalene, and Jesus.

Vi had fun with playdough, too!

Nikki, Michael, and Vi each share the Easter message in their own way.

image source

A friend gave me a set of Dr Neil T Anderson’s talks. While listening the other day I gained a fascinating insight about the relationship between goals and anger.

• If I don’t think I’ll be able to meet my goal, I get depressed.
• If I am not sure if I’ll meet my goal, I get anxious.
• If someone blocks me from achieving my goal, I get angry.

The moral here is to avoid setting goals that depend on other people. If my goal is to get us all out the door and in the car by 8am or to enjoy peaceful, relaxed dinner conversation, then I have four other people in my family that can block that goal. If someone disrupts dinner or takes a long time getting ready, my natural reaction would be to get angry.

Instead I can choose a goal to be the best wife and mother I can be. Only I can block that goal.

At the same time, it’s perfectly reasonable to have desires for prompt departures and peaceful dinners. These things are more likely to happen if I am focusing on what I can control, my own actions and reactions. When things happen that are outside of my control, I am more likely to accept them gracefully and see them for what they are – circumstances beyond my control – rather than a personal attack on me.

Now, when I notice I’m getting angry, I ask myself “what goal is being blocked?”

This introspection has resulted in me downgrading my expectation of Lex to be fully toilet-trained and litter-free by the time our next child is born. We’ve been toilet training him on and off since we moved into this house. He does well up to a point, but when we reduce the amount of litter tray in the toilet beyond a certain level, he starts using the bathtub instead.

we’ll be able to use the new toilet in 24 hours

So, we’re taking another break from toilet training our cat while we have our increasingly leaky outdoor toilet replaced. Lex is absolutely delighted to have his litter box back (I found him in there about 17 times the first day), while I am less than thrilled to have litter tracked all over the house again. However, I’m resetting my expectations and downgrading my goal of toilet-training to a desire. Now I’m not angry, merely exploring training options.