On 7 February at around 1130am, I started feeling cramping pains. Nothing particularly regular or painful, though I did have to breathe through a couple of them. I continued as normal, but I asked Ben to help me pack a hospital bag before we went to bed.

At 2am 8 February, my waters broke, waking me from sleep. I woke Ben at that point, and then again a half hour later because I was pretty sure I was having contractions. Ben moved furniture and started inflating the birth pool. Ben also called my amazing doula, Nicky Wesson, and she agreed to come straight away. My contractions were around 2 minutes apart.

At 3am I woke Ramona, a friend licensed as a midwife in the US who was staying with us, to give her Nikki’s baby monitor as Ben and I were both labour-focused at this point. Ben called the Birth Centre. Both of my assigned midwives, Emma and Tanisha, were with women in active labour, but they would send two other midwives. And they told Ben to call the paramedics if I started feeling like pushing.

At around 0330 I threw up. My mind told me this was transition, so I asked Ben to get Ramona. I asked her to tell me what was going on since I had just thrown up. She told me that it is often a sign of transition, but it was really quick, so it could just be a sign of labour. The next contraction came and I was pushing. She asked if I felt that down low; I said ‘yes.’

Ben had just filled the birth pool to the minimum, and Ramona said I could get in, ‘because this is definitely not early labour.’ She and Ben managed to pull my socks off between contractions, and I was immediately more comfortable in the water. Nicky arrived soon after I entered the birth pool.

At 0345, midwives Caroline Flint and Sangeeta Freeman arrived. Sangeeta checked the baby’s heart tones which were excellent and my blood pressure which was also good. Labour was extremely intense, and neither Ben nor Nicky left me for a moment. Ramona brought hot water to top up the pool, and she also managed to take some photos. Here I am at a pause between contractions, with Sangeeta, Nicky, and Ben.

Michael had not yet realised that he was no longer in the womb and that he needed to take his first breath. So the midwives took him, rubbed him with a towel, removed mucus from his mouth, and administered a couple puffs of air. Ramona called the paramedics just in case, but Michael was breathing on his own before she was off the phone with them. You can see from the photo that he was pretty un-phased by the drama.

My daughter, Nikki, woke at 0600, and Ramona brought her in to meet her brother. Nikki and Michael met over a breakfast of breast milk.

   

• Ben – birth partner
• Nicky – doula – call in early labour
• Tanisha – midwife – call in active labour
• Emma – midwife – call in active labour
• Ramona – Nikki’s carer if Nikki is awake

Pain Relief

• TENS – early labour
• water/Birth
  Pool in a Box – when midwife advises I can enter the pool, all the way
  through birth if I feel like staying in the pool
• change positions – doula and midwives to advise if I need ideas, especially if I ask

General Guidance

• Ben,
  Nicky and I to be in master bedroom, midwives to come and go as needed
  for checks or quiet observation, Nikki to be brought in by Ramona if
  I request
• minimise intrusions: no unnecessary internal exams (especially if water breaks early), minimise fetal heart rate checks as possible
• unplug home phone
• dim lights and candles in bedroom, use torch for checks
• appreciate sincere encouragement (regular but not constant)
• need reminders to drink and wee

Early Labour

• call Nicky – day or night
• fill birth pool at least to minimum
• put shower curtain and extra sheets on bed
• TENS machine applied
• snacks/drinks
• Ramona to take charge of Nikki – if at night, baby monitor; if during the day, out to Kew Gardens

Active First Stage Labour

• call midwives
• get in birth pool as soon as it won’t slow labour
• use different positions

Second Stage Labour

• wait until strong pushing urge before pushing
• push in different positions, whatever feels best
• coaching at the end to help avoid tearing
• if land birth (not in water), support of perineum with warm wet cloth and maybe olive oil would be nice to try
• possibly water birth if I feel like being in the water at that point
• Ramona to bring Nikki in close to time of birth if all is well
• would like either me or Ben to ‘catch’ the baby, with coaching as needed

Third Stage Labour

• physiological third stage
• cord not cut until after it stops pulsating
• midwife to cut cord
• probably leave the water before birthing the placenta

After the Birth

• breastfeeding and immediate skin-to-skin contact
• want suturing of all but the tiniest of tears
• take a bath with the baby, then lay down on the bed
• delay weighing and exam of baby until at least one hour after birth, to facilitate bonding
• oral vitamin K drops for baby
• no eye treatments for baby
• no circumcision
• placenta to Ramona for her art work

• Ben and E to have “babymoon” at home with our two children after the birth (privacy except for very limited visits)

In Case of Hospital Transfer

• no IV unless absolutely necessary
• no episiotomy
• no nursery for the baby
• no supplements for the baby
• encourage breastfeeding
• if C/S, want to be awake, immediate skin-to-skin contact (or if not awake, immediate skin-to-skin contact with Ben)
• no procedure, intervention, or medication without full explanation and our consent, except in case of true emergency
• midwife to be our advocate to make clear our wishes for the most natural way and fully informed choice
• as short of a stay in the hospital as possible

Note to Hospital
We
are well-educated regarding childbirth issues. We place a high value on
taking responsibility for decisions affecting care of mum and baby. We
appreciate your expertise and wish to discuss and decide the elements
of care at each step.

Questions for Each Proposed Intervention

• What is involved in this particular course of action?
• Are there any special considerations for my specific situation?
• What benefits do you believe the recommended care offers?
• What potential problems or disadvantages could there be?
• What are the pros and cons of the alternative route?

At birth she weighed 7 pounds 3 ounces and measured 20.5 inches long. She was born not only at full term, but very full of life. (Shhh, she’s asleep on my lap as I type this!)

A photo timeline from 8 through 10 September:

8 September: By the grace of God, Ben finished setting up the pool in our living room at 3am, an hour and a half before my waters broke. Ben and I had two hours’ sleep in the 48 hours leading up to the birth.

We planned to pick up a TENS machine from Nicky Wesson that evening just before the monthly home birth meeting. However, I was in established labour by 1pm, so Ben called and asked if she could drop it by a bit earlier… like right away.

Nicky was with us in 10 minutes, and she placed the electrodes from the TENS machine on my back for me. She offered to stay until the midwife arrived, and after Brenda van der Kooy joined us at 4:30pm as planned, Nicky continued on as my doula throughout the entire labour. Alongside Ben, who was amazing in his patience and endurance, she rubbed my feet and back and let me nearly break her fingers during contractions. Nicky’s unflagging encouragement was a completely unexpected gift from God.

A full moon and a peaceful second-stage labour in water.

A consultant surgeon, Ms Panter, whom I had met and liked earlier in the pregnancy, assisted the final two pushes. This was another blessing since it is very unusual to be attended by someone so high-ranking, and to have met the doctor beforehand.

What a glorious thing to meet the little one at last! We were in hospital a total of three hours.