Between the hours of eight and noon, Michael peed on the floor seven times.

We’ve had our ups and downs with toilet training around here. Just two weeks ago I put the rags away in a drawer because we hadn’t used them in a while for cleaning up accidents. This morning, however, unauthorized liquids were hitting the floor at an unprecedented rate.

I began restricting access to rooms, furniture, toys – still Michael averaged an accident every half hour. I didn’t sense defiance, just a lack of concern for the great amount of wiping up he was doing and the sanitizing with which I followed up each incident.

So I sent my boy outside. If he was going to pee freely, let it be in the great outdoors.

Since it was lunch time, I determined that Michael would eat outdoors as well. Unfortunately, it began to rain. My little boy sat outside on the kitchen step with his feet (already wet, now getting wetter) in the rain as he ate his noodles. Nikki and I ate inside very near him.

Gently, he began to cry. I asked him what was wrong. “I want water.” I brought him his sippy cup.

A couple minutes later, the gentle sobs began again. Again I asked what was wrong. “I… want… to come in.” My heart broke, and I began to weep. I said, “Michael, I want that, too. If you come in, will you keep the floor dry so Vi can crawl on it?” “Yes.” “Come on in, Michael.”

Then I sobbed and sobbed, because I sensed right then a glimpse of my Father’s love for me. I had been shaking my head over “seven times.” But my Father’s grace abounds not only to seven times I make a mess of things, but seventy times seven.

Michael is not yet two, but he is learning where to put his pee and poo.

As I mentioned in my bathroom sanitation post, another season of potty training is upon us. Thanks to our experience training Nikki, we knew better this time than to believe we would get Michael completely toilet trained in one day.

We wanted a fresh approach, preferably with a dollop of encouragement.

Enter Sean and Cindy Platt’s e-book, Potty Training Power. Any concerns I had about spending the money were dispelled by two things:

1. (a) full e-mail support from the authors with any potty training question or concern, and
2. (b) a no questions asked 100% money back guarantee.

As soon as I read through the documents they e-mailed me, I felt a load lift from my shoulders. Their advice is very practical, while remaining upbeat and encouraging. Sean and Cindy spelled out things I had learned but hadn’t yet articulated about our previous potty training experience (for instance, that the training goes much faster if you stay upbeat and celebrate each success).

In order to further accelerate the training, after the first few days we began keeping Michael bare-bottomed when we’re at home during the day. It is much easier to pick up a piece of poo off the floor than it is to scrape poo out of his pants. His wide-eyed reaction when he saw his poo drop to the floor the first time was a teachable moment. I told him that all he had to do was the same thing – in the potty! The next time he didn’t quite make it, but the time after that, he did! And there was much rejoicing!

It has been several days now since Michael has put poo anywhere but in the potty. He does still pee a bit on the floor at least once a day, but I chose the tradeoff of a few more accidents rather than constantly setting a timer and asking him to go sit on the potty. Thankfully our wooden floors are resilient.

Michael is learning so quickly, and we are thrilled that he’s already dry through his naps and all night long. When we go on errands or play outside, he makes it to the potty every time. Amazingly, he really has said goodbye to diapers forever.

Next week we’ll have him start wearing pants around the house. We also plan to transition him from the Babywunder Clear Potty to the toilet sooner rather than later – our target date for that step is his second birthday.

And Nikki? Not only has she been a great encourager for her brother, she has kept her pants dry all day long every day since Michael was trained.

Several months ago, two-year-old Nikki asked to use the toilet when we were in Subiaco visiting the Station Street market. The public toilets near Subiaco train station were a convenient solution.

Little did I know that ExeLoo automated toilets were equipped with piped in music, male voice prompts, and – who thought of this? – a wall that opens up to dispense a toilet seat.

Nikki and I were completely unprepared, and we both just stared in horror when the wall yawned open. My brave girl did not cry, and she used the toilet without complaint. But for weeks afterward she made comments and asked questions about the experience. We talked at length about how loud and frightening the toilet was, but that it was ok, and how we were glad there was a toilet right there for us to use when we needed it.

Once she has made a request to go to the loo, Nikki has never refused to use any toilet. However, following her ExeLoo experience, she likes to ask some relevant questions such as, “Mama, will there be a man talking?” and “Will the toilet be loud?” She also covers her ears or grabs my leg when she hears piano music in a public restroom.

I vowed that I would video the inner workings of an ExeLoo to inform others – you have to see it to believe it.

My preschooler is not the only one who has had a negative experience with an ExeLoo toilet. A friend’s husband was horrified when the loo doors opened after 10 minutes, with him still seated. Thankfully he had taken a newspaper to read which enabled him to retain his dignity until the doors mercifully closed again.

Nikki fully understands every aspect of toileting. When I excuse myself from the room to use the toilet, she often says either ‘OK, go quickly, Mama,’ or my favourite, ‘good work keeping your pants dry, Mama.’

She can go for a week, even for weeks, with nary an inkling of wetness in her pants. She keeps her pants dry every time when we are outside the house.

You may well ask – why are we revisiting this topic?

Because keeping her pants dry when we are at home is simply not a priority to my little girl. Once she goes for a week of being dry, she goes right back to wetting her pants when we are at home. Not just once, but three or four times per day.

So I asked her, “Do you want to wear diapers?” Nikki answered matter-of-factly, “yes.” Such simplicity in the face of my frustration and disappointment. I decided to go with it. So, diapers it is.

She will not poo in the diaper (or pants for that matter – she is fully toilet trained for bowel movements), so when she needs to poo she informs me and I take off her diaper, she gets her step-stool, uses the toilet, and calls for me to come wipe her (since her arms aren’t long enough to do an effective job of reaching). After she’s wiped she washes her hands. It’s all exactly as she has been trained.

Except that she prefers to wear a diaper to pee in when she is at home.

Unless she requests pants. Which sometimes she does.

I just go with what she’s feeling at the moment. Whenever she’s making a switch from pants to diaper or diaper to pants, I ask her to use the toilet. Usually there is a great flood of pee!

For those of you wondering, yes, I do have a theory as to why my very bright daughter does not feel compelled to keep her pants dry at home.

I think she could have The Einstein Syndrome, which is characterised by the following:

1. Outstanding and precocious analytical and/or musical abilities

2. Outstanding memory

3. Strong will

4. Highly selective interests, leading to unusual achievements in some areas and disinterest and ineptness in others

5. Delayed Toilet Training

6. Precocious ability to read and/or use numbers and/or use computers

7. Close relatives in occupations requiring outstanding analytical and/or musical abilities

8. Unusual concentration and absorption in what they are doing.

Of course, I think all my children are above-average. Whatever is going on in that cute curly head, I am at peace with the fact that it doesn’t always involve dry pants… yet.

Related posts:

Potty Regression and Recovery – 17 March 2009
Potty Training Really Is Possible – 2 November 2008
Potty Prowess – 28 September 2008
Potty Training Thoughts – 23 September 2008
If You Want to Keep Your Pants Dry… – 20 September 2008
Potty Training – Round One – 26 July 2008

I have been wanting to write this post for a long time.

You will remember Nikki’s triumph with potty training before we left Egypt. She finished her first complete week without accidents while we were living in our temporary accommodation there just before we flew away on our move to Perth.

Nikki continued to keep her pants dry during the long flight out to Australia, and during the first month we were here – while we lived in an apartment and searched for a house to rent, during our move-in to our townhouse, and while we first lived in our new home.

Dry pants continued even when Ben started work and I was one parent caring for two little ones (2.25 years old and 10 months old). Nikki would let me know when she needed the toilet and I would lift her up so she could go, then lift her to the sink so she could wash her hands.

(In Egypt she used a Babywunder Clear Potty as her toilet, and a bowl resting on the bathtub that was her height so she could wash her hands unassisted.)

At this point we bought stepstools to enable Nikki to get up onto the toilet and reach the sink herself. We checked to make sure the heights were correct and she was safe, and then we were back – we thought – to what we had in Egypt, where Nikki could take care of toileting entirely on her own.

A few days later – wet pants! Honestly, I was shocked. The toilet training book says that after a child is a potty training graduate (eg has gone for an entire week without an accident), the thing to do is just have them clean up any mess and change into dry pants. So I walked her through that, showing her where the rags were for cleanup, and she cleaned up and changed her pants.

Well, the number of ‘accidents’ kept increasing. I guess getting new clean dry pants was pretty fun! Nikki did not wet her pants when we were out and about (one of us took her to the toilet and lifted her so she could wash her hands), but at home she was wetting her pants four or five times per day. Accidents were happening without any warning and whether or not Ben was at home.

Needless to say, at that point I began to plan my days around getting us out of the house. And I did get a crash course as to where all of the public toilets are in central Perth! But sometimes I needed to be home and do some laundry or just sit for a while. And then would come the wet pants, and increasing frustration on my part.

One time she even had a poo in her pants. That was the last straw for me.

So I started to try things – I would have her practice once or twice, with me hurrying her along. I tried complete nonchalance – pants wet or dry, no worries. I talked to her about it. Ben talked to her about it. We tried not talking about it. I begged Ben to take her through the training again. I wondered if we should go back to diapers when at home. We told her she couldn’t sit on any of the soft furniture until she’d gone a week without any accidents. Ben bought some stickers to give her when she made it through any entire day without accidents so we could give her an incentive and track her progress.

Finally we came to what worked. Ben was ready to take her through the training. But just before he was about to start, the idea of having her practice, without going through the training again, occurred to me, so we gave it a try. Ten practices every time she wet her pants, no matter what. We went about it as if she had just been trained and had not graduated.

And two days ago she completed another completely dry week!! I guess she just needed to know that it was as important to keep her pants dry here as it had been in Egypt. I also noticed during our many practices that she had a few questions about the sink and the toilet that were good to clear up. Using bathroom fixtures on her own had not been a part of her Egyptian toilet training.

Ask Nikki, and she will tell you that dry pants are the best!!

As my theme for NaBloPoMo, I am reflecting on thirty things I’ve learned during the past two years living in Egypt.

nikki kept her pants dry she did a big poo and pee and now she can dance with her clean clean hands yes, she can dance with me -with apologies to Men Without Hats

Related posts:
Potty Training – Round One
If You Want to Keep Your Pants Dry…
Potty Prowess
Potty Training Thoughts

Hooray! Here are a couple pictures from Nikki’s first dry day. The day included a visitor to our house to help get Lex prepped for travel, a car ride and shopping trip to EduFun for wooden toys, plus lots of play time at home with babies and Baba’s socks.

I think Nikki’s first accident-free day is coming soon. Here is her track record after being trained last Friday .

Saturday – three accidents
Sunday – one accident
Monday – one accident
Tuesday – two accidents – difficulties with wearing a dress
Wednesday – one accident at home – She even used an on-the-go potty at the American Embassy
Thursday – one accident
Friday – one accident

Today – She pooed in the horrible ‘staff toilet’ at the veterinarian ‘s office. I held the door closed with my foot while holding her above the loo. She seemed completely unphased! Later she had one accident while playing in water on a friend’s lawn, but two successes out
there once it dawned on me to bring her potty outside with us.

Our next adventure is a quick plane journey to Cyprus . A little holiday before we pack up and move house. Michael helped Baba with our luggage this evening.

I think potty training is more traumatic for the parent than for the child.

This week, and it’s not over yet, has not been easy for me. The potty training method we used, which I highly recommend, ensures that the trainee has all the relevant information and skills for toileting herself completely independently. Her sole motivation is having dry pants – no stickers, toys, candy or other external motivators required. It’s a great leap forward in personal responsibility.

This is the second milestone – breastfeeding being the first – my daughter has achieved that I have had such a fully vested interest in. If she didn’t get it and had a lot of accidents, diapers would be a far more convenient option for me. In fact, diapers would be more convenient for travel, as well. But if we wait until we stop traveling, we’d never train her. She is fully capable of being trained, and I owe it to her to assist her in this step of independence.

For the training and the first couple of days afterward, we dressed her in a t-shirt and training pants only. This morning, she requested a dress. She had only one accident each on the previous two days, so I honoured her request. Today she had two accidents, each of them while standing in position right in front of the potty. The dress had interfered with her ability to lower her pants quickly. So during each of the ten practice sessions that follow any accident, I focussed solely on helping her move her dress out of the way and get her pants down quickly. She had to change dresses after the second accident. Even though she visited the potty several times this afternoon, once at a run, she had no further accidents and her second dress stayed dry as well. We even took her on an errand in the car (total time in her car seat 45 minutes or so), taking a little potty with us and using a waterproof liner on her car seat just in case, and she had no accidents or requests for the potty during that time.

A newly potty trained child adds an element of drama to even the most mundane situation. Essentially, I am trusting a two-year-old with my soft furnishings (and then trusting Woolite when the inevitable occurs). I had her practice saying ‘mama, baba, potty’ as we got into the car this afternoon so she could alert us in time to pull over and prevent an accident. I am not sure what equipment to bring on play dates so that Nikki has a place to do her business wherever we are.

I know this type of uncertainty is normal with any transition. I guess I never realised how big of a transition it would be for me .

Today Ben was back in the office and the potty training follow-up dry pants checks were down to me. Nikki was brilliant!! She had one accident in the middle of breakfast this morning, but then she had dry pants for the rest of the day! Lots of successful potties. I sneaked in on her one time…

… and then I waited for her to emerge with dry pants.

Yes, the media has stooped to new lows.