I have been incredibly blessed on my return to Cairo to be invited to a ‘baby group’ full of breastfeeding mums. Most are also cloth diapering and a few are babywearing as well. Since I’m one of the few who has a second child and also because I’m tandem nursing , I get asked a lot of questions and am able to share my experiences and information I’ve picked up along the way. Big change from other groups where the mums get saucer-eyed and shy away when I mention home birth or sleep sharing.

Attending the baby group this morning and also receiving some questions today from my dear friends Megan and Jill made me think that I should give an update on several different aspects of my own brand of mothering that I haven’t mentioned on here in a while: sleep sharing, baby wearing, and cloth diapering.

Sleep

Nikki shared a bed with Ben and me from day one. She indicated that she wanted more
personal space for sleeping when she hit 10 months , and that’s when we purchased a crib for her to sleep in downstairs. Since then she has slept through the night every night. She is a phenomenal
sleeper. While we were in England for Michael’s birth she switched from two naps to one 40-minute nap per
day, and she was going to bed at 6pm and waking at 7:30am. Here in
sunny Cairo and with her dad’s early schedule, she wakes at 6am, so I
put her down at 4:30pm in order to give her the 13.5 hours she
needs at night. Still one 40-minute nap, which is thankfully flexible
on timing. Ideally I put her down at 11am, but with the baby groups all
starting at 10am, on those days she ends up with a 1 or 2pm nap. Like
today.

Michael sleeps in our bed. He’s less demanding than Nikki was at this age , and he wakes only twice in the night – once at around 3am for
a diaper change (I’m leaving him in cloth at night and he doesn’t like
to feel the wetness) and feed and then again at around 5am to feed
before his sister wakes up. It works out pretty well. At first I tried  to feed him more often at night since Nikki always wanted to, but he just wanted to sleep, so I guess I won’t complain about that! He also sleeps on my back in the Mei Tai during Nikki’s hour-long bedtime routine. We have a baby hammock for Michael which he enjoys for short periods of time during the day (eg when Nikki is having her diaper changed, or I’m getting dressed), and he will also
sleep in the hammock if put in there when he’s already sound asleep. Based on our
experience with Nikki,
we’re not keen to rush him into his own bed before he’s ready, hoping
that when he is ready it will be clear to us and also at that point he will
sleep straight on through without any difficulties.

Babywearing

Before leaving for England, Ben and I purchased a Cairo-proven tandem stroller off of some expats who no longer needed it. I had thought that I would start using it once I got back here, but so far babywearing has been so convenient that I have not familiarised myself with the complexities of unfolding the pram. Fortunately wearing two children is not at all uncomfortable if the correct carriers are used, and if the carriers are used correctly.

I have used three different carrier combinations so far:

• Nikki in the Ergo on my back, Michael in a pouch on my front
• Nikki in the Ergo on my back, Michael forward-facing in a wrap (buddha carry) on my front
• Nikki in a Mei Tai on my back, Michael facing me in the Ergo on my front

The first combo, with Michael in the pouch , was the one I used on my five minute walk to the doctor’s office the other day. Handy for a short walk, but not recommended for a longer trek.

My favorite wrap for a little one is the forward-facing buddha carry in a wrap. The baby gets to see the world go by, and all skin is protected from the sun except the face peeping out, which can be protected with a hat. I’ll wait to do this again until Michael can hold his head up a little longer. I also love having Nikki in the Ergo on my back. Very secure, quick and easy, without the ties from the Mei Tai trailing around and getting dirty if I have to re-tie when I’m out.

Until Michael has sufficient head control for the front-facing buddha carry, I will continue placing him in the Ergo on my front, with the super handy sun / sleep cover pulled up to protect his baby skin from the sun and to support his head while sleeping. This also lets me show off my beautiful new Mei Tai, so it’s a happy combination all round.

Cloth Diapering

Not since the La Leche League meeting I attended when nine months pregnant with Nikki have I been in a group with so many cloth diapering mums as I was this morning. One mum uses prefolds with a diaper wrap. Another loves her Bum Genius all-in-ones . A third is so against throwing anything away (even toilet paper!) that I think she is a strong candidate for elimination communication .

My Ella’s House hemp nappies are going strong. Nikki moved to the larger size while we were in England; perfect timing to have all the small ones available for Michael. The wraps are my favourite part of cloth diapering, and of course I had to buy all new ones for a boy this time around. Fun!

Here is my best estimate of the cloth diapering supplies I now need for two children, washing daily except weekends:

• 20 small cloth nappies (ella’s house – hemp nappy – poppers, size small)
• 20 small cloth nappies (ella’s house – hemp nappy – poppers, size small)
• 40 boosters (ella’s house – fleece topped hemp booster )
• 48 cloth
  wipes (green baby co – organic cotton washable
  wipes with a bowl of tap water at the changing station)
• flushable/washable liner sheets – a necessity for Nikki since she started eating solids ( ultra bio-degradable nappy liners )
• 5 medium “boy” diaper covers (two Tots Bots , two Nature Babies , one Wacky Wrap )
• 5 large “girl” diaper covers (two Tots Bots, two Nature Babies, one Wacky Wrap)

Today Nikki didn’t have an afternoon nap. So when her bedtime approached, she was very ready to go to sleep. She came up to me and put her arms up over my shoulders and leaned her head against my chest. But I thought, ‘it is still a half hour until her bedtime, and I know Ben wants to tuck her in, so I’ll wait a bit.’

Next thing I knew, Nikki was holding the bag for the blocks she had been playing with and signing ‘help.’ I held the bag open for her as requested and she put her blocks in the bag. As soon as the blocks were in the bag, she crawled over to the basket where we keep her blocks. Done for the day! I put the bag of blocks back in the basket, scooped her up, and began her bedtime routine. Ben got home just as I was carrying her to her bedroom and was pleased to tuck her in. Sweet dreams!

Two photos Brent took of us just before we left for the costume party:

Nikki slept soundly as usual and did not make a single noise until Ben and I returned, earning us a good-natured scolding from Brent, who couldn’t believe we paid him to play PlayStation all evening. We told him of course we had to pay our first ever babysitter, and that his not having to do anything for Nikki was exactly the outcome we had hoped for!

Brent has a huge heart for children, and has worked at an orphanage in Uganda , where he plans to return after his year here. We felt very comfortable leaving Nikki with him, knowing he would be level-headed and compassionate in the unlikely event of some crisis occurring.

We had a great time at the party, though we had to laugh at ourselves – our first ‘adult’ outing with a babysitter for Nikki resulted in us dressing up in costumes like kids. There were many fun costumes at the party, including a geologist named Hamish dressed all in white, with white garbage bags attached to him. He had written prices on the different bags, like ’50 piastres ,’ ‘$0.05,’ ’5 pence,’ etc. It was very fun to see British people trying to guess what he was. He’d say, ‘it’s white,’ ‘it’s inexpensive,’ and the Brits would finish off by saying, ‘and it’s rubbish.’ Often Hamish had to help them out by saying, ‘Nothin’ but cheap white trash!’ Michael from the European Commission was Mark Antony, with his wife as Cleopatra. We became nervous when he had a serious conversation with a Centurian! Our hosts’ older daughters were there, dressed as supermodels, appearing throughout the evening with ever-changing outfits from their dress-up box. ‘Leopard skin is so yesterday !’

After the party…

E: Now I am no longer a bee.
Ben: Can I still keep you?

Thanks to all who wished me well for my 30th birthday this week! I have been enjoying the early presents I received (though I haven’t managed to watch the Narnia videos yet – soon!) and I am thrilled with the two presents I opened on my birthday – from Ben, Johnny Cash‘s ‘ My Mother’s Hymn Book‘ and, from my parents, ‘Antshillvania‘ a childhood favourite that I am so excited to own. I made Ben listen to the whole CD last night before bed. My total recall of the words made me wonder how many times I listened to it when I was small (of course, it was an LP then!).

My incredible husband has now made me from-scratch cheesecakes on three continents. I believe that this year’s takes the cake, so to speak, but he contends that last year’s London cheesecake was even better. Perhaps what pushed this one over the top for me was the topping: homemade cherry pie filling made from fresh local cherries, sugar, lemon juice and cinnamon. This cake rocked from cookie crumb crust to the cherries on the top!

In a huge breakthrough, and in answer to my family’s faithful prayers, I have been relieved from trying to train Nikki to sleep alone during the day. While she is fond of her own space at night, during the day she has been so sad for me to leave her, and I her! Her cries have broken my heart, and neither of us have rested. Three days of this and I was emotionally and physically exhausted. I also realised that even if I did finally convince Nikki to nap on schedule, it would significantly reduce my current flexibility, and thus my ability to get out of the house. So we have decided to use two different systems – she and I will continue laying down together for our naps (yes, we both need them!), and she will sleep alone in her own room at night.

The nap-strategy decision was made late last night, and I implemented it today. All that crying was replaced with lots of needed sleep for both of us. Praise the Lord! Interestingly, laying down together for naps will still work when we have a new baby, though by that time Nikki will probably not need quite as much naptime as now. We’ll just keep watching for her signals – perhaps at some point she will prefer to nap on her own and let us know that, just as she did for her nighttime sleep.

Here is a picture of Nikki multi-tasking today. Now she starts clapping when I start singing ‘If You’re Happy and You Know It…’

 

For the first ten months of her life, Ben and I have practiced sleep-sharing with Nikki, inspired by our one-bedroom London house and the book Three in a Bed. We never had to deal with crying at bedtime or getting up in the middle of the night to attend to her after the first two weeks, though our sleep has been broken a couple of times in recent months for teething troubles.

Then, just this week, a change came, and Nikki couldn’t seem to get enough personal space even on our very large bed (2m x 2m). She also started pushing me away when I tried to feed her to sleep. Monday and Tuesday nights neither she nor I got much rest, but she slept soundly on our bed during the day. So last night, we moved her into her own room with a comfortable full-size bed, a Baby Dan safety rail, and a Philips baby monitor.

We braced ourselves for a sleepless night – this is a girl who has always shared our bed and been fed to sleep. Thanks to a book Ute let me borrow, Solve Your Child’s Sleep Problems, we had a plan for transitioning Nikki to going to sleep all on her own. Ben read her The Very Hungry Caterpillar, then a chapter from the Bible, The Message version (many thanks to Audrey and Ezekiel for this gift), then carried her to her bed, laid her down, prayed for her, said ‘goodnight’ and closed the door. Nikki cried for three minutes and then was asleep. (We had been planning to go in and comfort her after five minutes of crying.)

She woke three times in the night, and Ben went to her each time (he was designated so she wouldn’t think of milk so much). Unfortunately, each time Nikki woke, she climbed over the safety rail to try to get to us, and she fell from the height of a regular bed each time. She seems unhurt, praise God! We will have to do something to reduce her risk of injury.

I accidentally woke Nikki by opening the door and looking in on her this morning. She had been in her own bed for 7.5 hours and we think she was awake a total of a half hour of that time – waking, climbing out of bed, and being put back. She cried very little and was eager to get back to sleep each time she woke. She was also very happy to have a good long nurse this morning, followed by breakfast with Ben and me.

In Three in a Bed, author Deborah Jackson talks about how children will signal to let you know when they are ready for their own bed. I was not sure how this would work, and everyone warned me that Nikki would never want to leave! All of the theory I studied during my first pregnancy convinced me that the attachment style of parenting, which we are loosely following, will counterintuitively lead to a more independent child because it is based on the hypothesis that a need that is met is one that goes away. We are not sure if it was independent thinking or simply her physical growth that led Nikki to make this latest step, but Ben and I are proud of her either way!

Speaking of growth, I had Nikki weighed and measured at Dr Omar’s office yesterday. Her head circumference has remained the same, she has lost 1/4 kilo of weight, and she has grown 2 centimeters in length. I think the weight loss was due to my hit-and-miss method of feeding her while in the States and away from my kitchen – she was getting only one meal of solids per day during two of the weeks this month. Nikki’s appetite is good and she is eating more solids now than she was prior to our trip. I am going to move her from two to three meals of solids per day in order to make up for the weight loss. Dr Omar said she is still healthy (obvious to me as well), but he does want her eating more solids – at least two tennis-ball-sized meals each day. It sounds like a lot now, but I am sure we will get there.

10 month measurements
Weight: 8.00kg, 17lb 10oz, between 25th and 50th percentile
Length: 72.0cm, 28.3in , 50th percentile
Head Circumference: 44.5cm, 17.5in , WHO growth standards not yet available, but 50th percentile on BabyCenter

The first time Nikki traveled to the US, we underestimated the impact of six hours of jet lag. In the middle of her first night on American soil, she woke screaming at the top of her lungs. The poor girl had woken at her normal time only to be greeted by an unfamiliar, pitch dark room. The following evenings she was uncharacteristically fussy as her body demanded she go to sleep but her mind was unable to rest in busy circumstances visiting her relatives. Clearly the time change was much more of a shock to her system than we had anticipated.

As we prepare to take her on a second trip to the United States, I am experimenting with keeping Nikki up late here, in peaceful, familiar surroundings, in order to provide a more gentle segue into the eight hour time difference between the Mountain time zone and Cairo. I believe I am having some success – last night she stayed up until midnight and slept until noon today (in Mountain time, that would be going to bed at 4pm and getting up at 4am). Now it is half past midnight and she’s only just drifting off to sleep.

I am being careful not to ignore signals for when she is done and her body must rest. Overtiredness results in crankiness, restless sleep, and no benefit to anyone. I am finding the experiment interesting because it requires careful observation. We never planned a schedule for Nikki; instead we’ve been providing consistency for the sleep/wake schedule that came naturally to her (sleep at 9pm, wake at 8am, nap at 3pm and one other nap either in the morning or later in the afternoon/evening). I don’t see any way to avoid altering her schedule during our time in the US, so I am trying to do it as kindly as possible.

A phone call just isn’t the same as visiting in person…

I’ve been writing about some favourite foods and things that have been making my life more comfortable during pregnancy. For posterity, I thought it would be fun to compile a list.

• prawn and avocado salad on a large brown bap
• Shredded Mini Wheats with dried cranberries
• eating a second breakfast
• sleeping in
• pillow between my legs to support my lower back during side sleeping (Ben even let me pack this on our trip to Vancouver!)
clipped from www.spine-health.com
When sleeping on the side, bending the knees and placing a pillow between the knees prevents the knees from coming together and keeps the spine in the neutral position. When there is no support between the legs, the upper leg rotates downward, pulling the pelvis, and distorting the natural line of the spine. Adding support between the knees can prevent back pain induced by these types of forces and allow the back to heal and more properly rest while sleeping.
Usually, a firm pillow between the knees works better than a softer pillow because it serves somewhat as a kickstand to keep the upper leg from rotating over the lower leg.
• big purple ball
• H&M maternity clothes